One Flew East, One Flew West
by MovieBuffStarlet
Summary: Very AU. The bohos are in a mental ward!
1. Chapter 1

_Vintery, mintery, cutery, corn,  
Apple seed and apple thorn;  
Wire, briar, limber lock,  
Three geese in a flock.  
One flew east,  
And one flew west,  
And one flew over the cuckoo's nest._

_A/N: That's right, folks! Another film adaptation! The following story will be based off of the kick ass film "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest"_

_The film is about a very eccentric man who fakes being mentally ill in order to get out of jail (he is in jail for statutory rape). Once in the mental hospital, he befriends the other patients and eventually gets them to rebel against Nurse Ratched, whom he feels is tyrannical._

_Here's a quick layout of the characters:_

_Roger: Aggressive, wise ass, eccentric, rebellious man who fakes being mentally insane (it's not that much of a stretch) in order to get out of jail._

_Collins: Silent, dignified, and towering in height. Said to be deaf and dumb. (When I say 'dumb' I mean he can't talk.) He has a father who lost his mind after decades of alcohol abuse._

_Mark: Immature, always smiling, can't seem to understand people or stay in the moment very well. Sees people that aren't there._

_Maureen: Trouble making, argumentative and cynical. _

_Mimi: The pretty, airhead girlfriend of Roger. Not a mental patient…she does have some significance towards the later part of the story, however._

_Joanne: Intelligent, rationalizing. Somewhat sane, actually. Is in the mental hospital because she can't cope with the fact that her girlfriend has cheated on her._

_Benny: Insecure and neurotic. Far too emotional._

_Angel: The youngest patient on the ward. Shy, timid and very fearful of his dominating mother (who also happenes to be friends with Nurse Ratched). Has suicidal tendencies. He speaks with a severe stutter._

_Stay tuned for chapter one! It's coming soon:)_


	2. Chapter 2

"Watch your step, Mr Davis."

Roger grinned to either man as they helped him out of the car.

"Why, thank you. This is so very _kind_ of you."

To his dismay, they completely ignored him. As if he was _crazy_ or something…

With an officer firmly grasping each elbow, Roger was escorted up the worn stone steps. They stood and waited as a third acted as a doorman. At last, the door swung open…

His nose was assaulted with the overpowering smell of lemon. Roger blinked. When his eyes adjusted to the indoor light, he sucked in his breath, taking in his new, drab surroundings. Even though it was relatively spacious…it still had the power to make one feel somewhat claustrophobic. Annoying, screechy violin music carried through the building.

He was being led down a broad hallway paved with a shiny, white linoleum floor. It was a breathtaking contrast to the white walls…

_Left, right, left, right…_

His shoes squeaked as he walked. He cast quick glances to either side and noticed unfamiliar pairs of eyes peering out at him through small windows from behind heavy, metal doors. Each room had its own occupant..._right_??

_I sure as hell hope they don't lock me up with one of these loonies…_

"Hello, Mr Davis"

As they finally came to the end of the hall, an older man stuck his hand out in a greeting.

"I'm Doctor Spivey. Welcome to-"

Roger held up his cuffed hands and raised his eyebrows, the cuffs jingling slightly as he did so.

"Oh, yes. Of course. Take those off, please. There is no need for them now." Doctor Spivey stumbled over his words, flustered.

The officer to Roger's left nodded in a stiff manner. He proceeded to reach into his pocket for the key.

Within seconds, those damn things were unlocked and lifted off. Roger could not have been happier. He rubbed his wrists, beaming with joy.

"_AAAHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"_

Roger jumped up and down, cackling madly, his woops echoing off those plain white walls. This caused the three other men to jump.

Then he lunged forward, wrapping his arms around a startled, grimacing officer, planting a noisy, over the top smooch to his cheek.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'll need your signature, Mr Davis."

"I'd be _delighted_, Doc!" Roger smirked at him as he leaned forward in his chair, scrawling his name across the line.

"So," Doctor Spivey smiled at Roger politely from across his desk, resting his elbows on the desktop. "Can you tell me why you've been sent over here?"

Dr Spivey was smiling at the back of Roger's head.

"Mr Davis?"

Roger whirled around in his seat to face him.

"Oh, sorry about that, Doc. I was just having a look. You've got a really nice office here…"

"Thank you. So did you understand my question?"

"Well, sure. I ain't _crazy_ or nothin'…"

"Would you care to answer it?" Dr Spivey's face broke out in a small smile of amusement.

"Doesn't it say _there_??" Roger nodded his head, indicating to the stack of papers that sat on his desk.

"Well, I've read them over. They say some very interesting things…"

"Such as??" Roger leaned back in his chair, fighting a self satisfied grin.

_I've got him fooled, the old dope!_

"That you're belligerent, lazy, you've been bouncing an imaginary ball around…"

"In that case, shouldn't Michael Jordan be locked up in a funny farm?" Roger folded his arms across his chest, sighing heavily. "It's like they're telling me not to chew gum in class…"

"You've been arrested several times for assault…" Dr Spivey continued.

"I like to fight and fuck too much…what can I say??"

"Have you ever assaulted a woman?"

"Oh, no. Y'see…I don't believe in beating up women." Roger shook his head furiously, his sandy hair falling into his eyes. "Even though some of them _like_ it…"

"It says that prior to being sent over here you were in jail for the statutory rape of a 15 year old girl. Can you tell me about that?"

"Okay…first of all…she was 15 going on 35! She told me she was 18. She was _very_ willing, you know what I'm saying? I practically had to sew my pants shut…"

Dr Spivey nodded. "Carry on."

"Anyways, when you get that lil' red beaver in front of you…it's not crazy _at all_! What man alive can resist that?"

"Alright then…" Dr Spivey looked sickened. "You will be placed in the minimum security section of the hospital…"

_Yes! _Roger's brain was screaming with joy.

"The head nurse there is Nurse Ratched. She will show you to your bed when you are escorted over there. All of your needs will be taken care of…."

Roger was barley even listening. He just smiled at nodded.

"If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask her. She is wonderful at what she does."

"Uh-huh…"

Dr Spivey smiled at Roger. "Welcome to our ward."

Roger felt his face break out into a huge, uncontrollable grin. "Thanks!"

"Oh, and just between you and me…" The doctor dropped his voice to a whisper. "Do _you_ feel that there's anything wrong with you?"

Roger smiled smugly at him. "Not at all, Doc. In fact, I'm a goddamned marvel of science."

_A/N: Crappy, I know. I wrote this at 3 in the morning. Roger meets the other bohos in the next chapter (finally!) Whoo-hoo!_


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Canon romantic pairings do not exist in this story…sorry. That's why it's AU. Please forgive me if you see any obvious spelling errors or mistakes. I wrote this chapter at 3 AM again! Oh, how I love summer vacation! XD_

As he was being escorted down the hall, (did they escort you to the bathroom, too??) Roger had a very important decision to make. Was he going to meet Miss Ratched first…or acquaint himself with the other patients? The latter seemed far more interesting to him.

The hallway opened up into what appeared to be a spacious loft area. Sunlight was pouring into the room through the enormous (and barred) windows.

It was also filled with people. People randomly standing around, people muttering to themselves, he even saw an elderly man dancing to music only he could hear.

_I wonder who the top loony here is…_

Craning his neck, he spied a group of individuals sitting around a table, playing a game of cards. In the middle of all of this madness, they appeared to be the most sane. And they were wearing white. _White_! Ugh…

As Roger stood there, debating whether or not to go and join them, something caught his eye. He turned his head and saw a very tall black man. Just his height alone impressed him. The man was tightly clutching a mop. He was pushing it slowly back and forth over the same area on the floor…over and over again. His head was down, eyes fixated on the floor.

"Hi, there!" Roger casually walked over to him, grinning widely.

The man did not look up until Roger was standing directly in front of him, casting a shadow over the area he was supposedly 'mopping'. He looked up, his movement seemed to be in slow motion. He was staring blankly at him.

"Damn,boy!" Roger laughed, giving him a playful sock on the arm. "You're about as big as a fuckin' mountain. It looks to me like you might've played some football!"

No emotion registered on the man's face.

"What's your name?" Roger asked him, hoping to break the ice. "Don't tell me you're _shy_…"

"H-h-he c-can't hear you. He's d-d-deaf and d-dumb…" Came a soft voice.

Roger turned at the sound of the voice. He saw that the card players were now looking at him curiously. He knew it was one of them.

"Is that so?" Roger's eyebrows shot up. He felt slightly disappointed. "He can't even make a _sound_?"

A slim, young Latino sitting at the table shook his head. Roger assumed that he was the one who had spoken.

"His name is Collins." A young brunette spoke up, leaning back in her chair. She folded her arms across her chest as she did so. "He was here before any of us. He can't take part in our therapy sessions, though …so he just helps by mopping the floors. He's always carrying a damn mop around…"

Roger cast Collins one last glance before turning around and walking over to them.

"What's your name, son?" He held out his hand to the baby faced Latino first.

The boy shook it, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"A-A-Angel." He smiled up at him shyly.

"Nice to know you, Angel. Roger is mine." Roger nodded, letting his gaze slowly travel to the next person. A young, attractive black man.

"And your name would be...?"

"Benny." He replied, grinning widely.

Roger nodded again, he found himself grinning back. His eyes flickered to the next person. A young, attractive black _female_ this time…

_If I didn't already have a girlfriend…_

"I'm Joanne." She replied, glancing up briefly from her cards.

"Hi, Joanne. It's a _pleasure_ to meet you!" Roger turned on the ol' charm.

"Forget it. I'm a _lesbian_." She chuckled dryly.

For once, Roger was speechless.

_Dammit…_

"I'm Maureen." The brunette said before Roger even had the chance to look at her. She jerked her thumb to the young, blonde man sitting to her left.

"And this dipshit is Mark." She finished, grinning.

Strangely enough, Mark didn't seem bothered by her comment at all. He was leaning to his left, blatantly looking at Angel's cards.

Angel noticed and held his cards to his chest, blocking Mark's view.

"So, Mark…" Roger smirked. "You like looking at other people's cards??"

Mark looked at him, a shit eating grin plastered to his face.

"Yes." He said simply. Not really understanding the question.

Roger walked over to stand beside him. He took one glance at Mark's cards and quickly snatched up the Queen of Hearts. He held her up in front of his face, making her dance.

"Where do you suppose she lives?"

Mark did not answer his question. Instead he poked the Queen of Hearts several times, that stupid grin still on his face. Roger had a feeling it was permanent.

"Come _on_, Mark…" Joanne sighed impatiently, rolling her eyes. "Are we playing or what?"

Mark continued to poke the Queen of Hearts. He began to giggle.

Then, just like that, Roger turned around and walked off with the card in his hand. He began whistling playfully.

Still grinning, Mark sat there for a second…then got up from his chair and followed him.

"Where are you _going_, Mark?" Benny whined. "Aren't you playing with us? I thought we were…."

Fascinated by it all, Angel slowly eased up out of his chair to join Roger and Mark.

"Angel?? _Please_ come back…not you _too_…" Benny's tone was becoming more desperate.

And then Maureen got up, walking over to them.

"_Maureen_! Don't _go_!" Benny begged.

"Benny..." Joanne snapped.

"Yes?" He looked at her, his brow wrinkled with emotion.

"Get a grip!"

_A/N: Reviews, please!_


	5. Chapter 5

"Alright. You may all take your seats now."

"That was a _delightful_ stretch, Miss Ratched." Roger grinned as he and the others sat down. "_Really_. It got all of my kinks out…"

Sure. Roger _was_ awfully tired after meeting so many new people…but that didn't stop him from wanting to attend the daily group therapy session.

"Thank you, Mr Davis." She nodded and smiled. She was polite but cold. So cold. She glanced down at her notes.

"During the last session, we were discussing Miss Jefferson's thoughts and feelings concerning the problems she is experiencing with her partner. Joanne has stated that she suspects that she may have been cheating on her."

"Yes." Joanne nodded quickly. "That's right."

"So," Nurse Ratched carried on. "Who would like to start us off?"

A dead, heavy silence filled the room. Someone coughed.

Roger was bored out of his mind. He sighed heavily and let his gaze wander around the room. As he looked over to his left, he noticed something.

A man standing off by himself, leaning against a wall. He was staring into space. From what Roger could see, the man looked far gone…no sign of any thought, thinking, or emotion reflected in his eyes. Roger's eyes were drawn to the man's feet where, to his horror, a dark puddle of urine began to form.

_Oh, yuck…_

"Nurse Ratched! Uh…that man…um…" Roger jumped up from his chair, pointing at him.

"Sit down, Mr Davis." Miss Ratched ordered him, her tone icy.

"But…"

"I will get one of the workers to attend to Mr Ellis. Now sit down."

Roger hesitated, then sat down.

"We have rules here, Mr Davis. A very important one that you, and everyone, must follow is to remain seated in your chair during therapy sessions. Do you understand?"

_Of course not! I'm insane, remember?!_

"Yes, Ma'am." Roger muttered bitterly.

"Now, Benny…" She looked at him. "Would you begin our meeting today?"

"_Me_??" Benny gulped. He shook his head furiously. "I _couldn't_!"

She sighed. Roger could practically see the smoke coming out of her ears…he almost laughed out loud.

_It's a good thing that killing patients is against the precious rules…_

"Mark? Are you with us?" She moved on.

Roger craned his neck to look at Mark. He was staring at a spot on the floor…a little green martian, perhaps?

At the sound of her voice, Mark looked up.

"Yes." He said.

And then he went back to having his staring contest with his imaginary friend…

"Angel? How about you?"

Angel visibly jumped at the sound of her voice. He looked at her, almost afraid.

"I'd like to write down in my book that you began a meeting. Just once."

He shook his head. "N-n-n-no thank you, Ma'am."

"You mean there is no one here with an opinion on this matter?" Nurse Ratched directed this question to the group, fixing her steely gaze upon them.

"May I say something?" Joanne cleared her throat.

"Of course. Go right ahead." Nurse Ratched nodded at her.

"Alright..." She continued. "Well, I really do feel that I have the right to suspect her. And sometimes, I feel it may be all for the best. I oftentimes find myself speculating on the conditions of my life…with or without her…"

Maureen blinked. "Um, Joanne? Why don't you just shut the fuck up with all the fancy Shakespeare bullshit and get to the point??"

Joanne stopped talking and glared at her. "The _point_ ,Maureen, is not bullshit. Don't you get it?? I'm not just talking about my love life…I'm talking about life itself! I am talking about life, I'm talking about love, I'm talking about human emotion and companionship! I am talking about Heaven and Hell…I find it very peculiar that you can't seem to get that through your thick skull!"

Loving the reaction she was getting out of her, Maureen rolled her eyes and snickered. "_Peculiar_??"

"Yes! Peculiar! Are you too dumb to realize what that word even means??" Joanne shot back.

"You know what, Maureen? You just don't want to _learn_ anything!" Benny broke in, tearfully defending Joanne.

"Benny, take it easy…" Joanne turned to him, smiling warily.

Roger grinned, very entertained by this little soap opera…then a new voice floated up from the back.

"…_I'm tired_…."

Roger turned to see who it was.

Once sitting quietly, a giant of a man now got up from his chair and began lurching toward the front of the room, chanting that line repeatedly. The commotion that Maureen, Joanne, and Benny had made must've set that poor guy off.

Roger cringed. This guy was _really_ crazy! Finally, to the relief of everyone, workers standing nearby restrained him.

Roger blinked.

_Wow…that was really something…_

_A/N: I'm so sorry about the wait, you guys! I'll try not to do that again!_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: I didn't spend a whole lot of time looking this over, so I apologize for any errors._

As a child, Roger remembered loving recess. In fact, it was the best part of elementary school for him. That and lunch.

And now, after spending a total of 24 hours in the loony bin, he rejoiced in the 30 minute outdoor breaks that the patients were given in the afternoons.

As he was dribbling a basketball along the cement courtyard, Roger happened to glance up. He grinned and tucked the ball under his arm.

With his back to him and his arms folded across his chest, Collins was standing over by the chain link fence. He appeared transfixed, gazing out into the real world.

" 'Ello, mate!" Roger bounded over to his side, showing off his crappy British accent. And then he realized something…

_Oh, yeah…he can't fuckin' hear me! Dammit!_

Collins slowly turned his head to look at him.

"Did you ever play this game?" Roger asked him very carefully so that he could read his lips. "It's called 'Put the Ball in the Hole'. Here….I'll show you…"

Roger took his arm, steering him across the courtyard and over to the basket.

"Okay..." Roger said, releasing his grip on his arm. "Now, stay there. Don't move! Do you understand?"

Collins gave him a blank stare.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'." Roger muttered quietly to himself. "Now, take the ball." He held the ball out to him. Collins' gaze flickered from him to the ball, then back to him. Slowly, he took the ball into his two large hands. He held onto it firmly.

"You're doin' _great_! Be careful, though.You don't wanna crush the air out of it. Okay…now you raise your arms…raise them _high_! _Way_ high up into the air…like this!" Roger raised his arms to show him.

Collins blinked warily.

"Roger?" A fellow patient standing behind him asked.

Roger turned to look at him, his arms still raised.

"Why the fuck are you wasting your time? You know he can't understand a goddamned thing you're saying…"

"I'm not talking to him…I'm talking to myself. It helps me think. Besides, it sure isn't _hurting_ him!" Roger turned his attention back to Collins. "Hey, man…are you being _hurt_??"

Collins continued to stare blankly at him. The ball was still clutched tightly between his two massive hands.

"See?" Roger whirled around to face the guy again, a smug grin plastered onto his face.

The guy walked off, shaking his head and muttering to himself.

"Raaaaise those arms, Collins…"

Slowly, but surely, Collins raised the ball into the air.

"_Alright_! Now, you're gonna jump _up_ into the air and put the ball into the basket! Jump _up_…_up_ into the air!" Roger bounced at he talked, demonstrating the action.

Collins stood there stiffly.

Roger sighed heavily, realizing this wasn't working. Then he got an idea.

"Hold on…I'll be right back!"

He raced over to a nearby bench on the right side of the courtyard. The freaky, giant patient from the last meeting was sitting there.

"Hey you, stay there for a minute."

The patient looked at him, confused and slightly scared.

Roger stood up on the bench. He crouched down and eased himself into a sitting position on the man's shoulders.

"Couldya do me a favor and walk over to that big guy holding the ball? He's right over there!" Roger pointed.

As the guy stood up and walked over to Collins, Roger cackled gleefully.

_This is fucking fun!_

Roger took the ball from Collins' outstretched hands. He dunked it into the basket for Collins to see.

"There…ya see? You jump up and put it into the basket! It's really not that hard!" Roger was suddenly interrupted by the man underneath him.

"…_I'm tired_…."

And then he turned around and began walking across the courtyard with a terrified Roger still perched on his shoulders.

"_Woah_!!! Where the fuck are you going??"

"…_I'm tired_…" The man trotted on.

"_Stop_! Hold it! Oh…_shit_!" Roger flailed his arms desperately. "_Ahhh_! Fuck! Somebody _help me_!!"

Collins looked on. His face broke out into a slow, amused grin.

Nurse Ratched was peering down from her window at the entire scenario taking place. A cold hatred gleamed in her eyes.

_A/N: I'm sorry I took so long,you guys. I just get preoccupied with all these wonderful ideas I can use for oneshots. Angel/Collins smut,Angel/Collins fluff, crackfics, humor fics, fics about the entire boho gang. You know...stuff like that. They are just so much fun to write!_

_Also, I will be working at a much slower and calmer pace with this fic. Unlike "Legion", this story is not filled with as much Angel torture and angst...so I'm not as desperate to get to the ending and get it over with. But I will finish this fic! I promise you! ;)_


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: This chapter takes place later that night._

"Jesus fucking Christ!!" Roger hissed. He stood up from his chair, throwing his cards onto the table. "Do you nuts wanna play cards or do you wanna fucking jack off??"

"Uh, I hate to break it to you...but for us girls it's 'jilling off' not 'jacking off'. Besides, what else do you expect us to do in a place like this?" Maureen grinned at him.

Mark picked up his Queen of Hearts, smiling dumbly at her.

The others stared at him…most were taken aback by his outburst. But what was Roger to do? Attempting to play cards with a dumb ass who can't understand the rules (AKA: _Mark!_) is maddening. He felt like he would explode…that he really _would_ go crazy.

_I'm no longer goin' for the fuckin' Oscar…I really __am__ going mad! Just like them. Well, I'm in the loony bin…I might as well get used to it…for now…_

Roger felt grim and seriously considered stalking off to his own special corner to go sulk. Roger felt like he needed to pace. He really wasn't too fond of his new home. He felt…annoyed. He couldn't exactly put his finger on it. And then it hit him….

That damned screechy violin music was blaring over the speakers of the hospital. Probably turned on by Nurse Wretched, no doubt. The horrible music just added to the depressing, suffocating atmosphere. At the very least, why couldn't it be AC/DC? Roger grit his teeth.

_No wonder everyone here is nuts…I can't even hear myself think! I'd just as soon kill myself…_

"Medication time." The soft, unsure voice belonging to the pretty, young assistant Nurse Pilbow crackled over the intercom, breaking into his thoughts. His eyes flickered casually to the front desk. He saw Miss Pilbow disappear through a back door.

_Perfect…_

Moving like a cat on the prowl, Roger walked swiftly over to the front desk and stood there for a moment, looking in through the glass window (the protective glass really made him feel like he was at the drive through or something).

Roger sneaked around the side, coming into the area through a side door.

When Miss Pilbow reappeared moments later, she screamed…nearly dropping the tray of medication she was holding. Roger almost jumped out of his skin…he really didn't mean to scare her.

"Oh, excuse me, Miss…I was just tryin' to-"

"_Stay back_!" She warned, her eyes wide. She began to pale…this girl was a heart attack waiting to happen. Roger wondered if she was going to crack that tray over his skull.

Crazies were always misunderstood.

"Mr Davis," Nurse Ratched came through the back door, gripping his shoulder firmly. She began to steer him to the side door. "Patients are not allowed back here."

Roger felt like an Elementary School kid who has broken into the teacher's lounge.

"But I was just tryin' to-"

"We can discuss whatever you need once you're back out there. Okay?"

Roger allowed himself to be pushed out the side door. He walked around to the front, elbowing his way through his fellow patients who were now crowding around the area. When Roger reached the front of the crowd, he leaned in towards the two nurses, his hand on the glass.

"Do you think it's possible to get that music turned down so that we can talk and not have to shout? Seriously…I feel like it's gonna drive me _crazy_ or something…" Roger threw in some convincing facial twitches for effect.

"That music is for everyone, Mr Davis. There are some very old patients on this ward who wouldn't be able to hear the music if it was turned any lower. That music is all they have." Nurse Ratched explained. Polite but cold.

Roger stared at her, not knowing what to say next.

_Oh, sure. Make me look like the bad guy..._

"Yeah, but…"

"Your hand is staining my window." Nurse Ratched pointed out, interrupting him.

"Oh. Sorry about that…" Roger took his hand off the glass and proceeded to wipe away his handprint with his sleeve.

"Your medication, Mr Davis." Miss Pilbow held out two Dixie cups to him through the hole in the window. One was filled with water…the other had a huge pill sitting in it.

"What the hell is _that_??" Roger raised an eyebrow. He didn't remember anything about having to take strange pills. Besides, he feared it would make him throw up the poor excuse for food that they gave him. He didn't want to end up this lifeless zombie...staring at the wall...

"It's just medicine. It's good for you." Miss Pilbow explained.

"I don't like takin' something if I don't know what it is..."

"Don't get upset, Mr Davis." The young assistant replied nervously.

"I'm not getting upset, _Miss Pilbow_." Roger grinned, speaking in a mock syrupy tone.

"Don't worry, Miss Pilbow." Nurse Ratched fixed Roger with an icy gaze. "If Roger does not want to take his medication orally, I'm sure we can get him to take it some _other_ way….but I'll guarantee you right now, Mr Davis…you won't like it."

The grin from Roger's face disappeared as the '_other'_ way became apparent to him.

Standing behind him and waiting her turn, Maureen snickered.

So much for human rights.

_Go fuck yourself…_

Biting his tongue, Roger reluctantly took the two Dixie cups from Miss Pilbow. He made a huge show of popping the pill into his mouth. Next, he tossed his head back, draining the water from his cup and gulping it down noisily. He topped it all off with a cheesy grin.

"Mmmm. Yummy."

"Very good." Nurse Ratched nodded.

Roger walked back over to the table and plopped down heavily into his chair. He began calmly shuffling some cards. Once in a while, he'd glance up at the old man who always danced around.

_He's gonna give himself a heart attack..._

Moments later, he was rejoined by the others as they finished taking their medication. One by one, everyone took their usual seats.

"Hey, Joanne…" Roger nudged her with his elbow.

She looked at him. "What?"

Roger opened his mouth to reveal the pill sitting on his tongue. Then, he noisily spit it out, sending it flying across the room.

And then he began laughing hysterically.

"You'd better watch yourself, she could've seen that." Joanne warned, trading amused glances with the others. "Shut the hell up before she gets suspicious…."

"Suspicious of what?? We're at the goddammed funny farm! I swear, she's got you guys coming and going. You're all scared of her…._why_??"

No one said anything.

"Give me one week," Roger continued. "And I'll bet you I can put a bug so far up her ass…who wants to bet me??"

"I'll bet a dime!" Maureen piped up.

Roger grinned wolfishly. Pissing off Nurse Ratched almost made his stay worth while.

_A/N: The next chapter is coming soon!_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: The next day. Yet another therapy session. Brace yourselves for a bisexual Angel! (gasp!)_

The young, frail Latino sat there. Rigid and visibly cringing. Uncomfortable at being the centre of attention.

"Did you tell the girl how you felt about her?"

Angel hesitated before speaking. Having trouble meeting Nurse Ratched's gaze, he stared at the floor.

"W-well, I went over to her h-h-h-house one S-S-Sunday afternoon and I b-b-brought her some fl-flowers…"

Roger sighed, rolling his eyes upward. It was gonna be a _looong_ session….

"And I-I said _'Celia, will you m-m-m-m_-….."

Angel paused here. He squeezed his eyes shut…trying hard to force the words to come out. He really, really wished he could speak properly.

"…_m-m-m-marry me?_' And-"

Leaning back in her chair with her arms folded across her chest, Maureen began to snicker.

So did Roger….he tried to hold it back. He really did.

It was a chain reaction. Nervous titters began to ripple around the room. To some degree, everyone felt a small twinge of guilt. I mean, it is not _nice_ to laugh at someone's disability….but one could easily see why the marriage proposal was turned down. Who exactly would accept one from a person who is asking you to 'M-m-m-m-m-m-marry them?'

Startled and confused, Angel looked about the room at everyone, completely oblivious to the fact that Nurse Ratched never took her stony gaze off of him.

Becoming more hysterical by the second, Roger covered his mouth with his hand and snorted.

_I swear to God…if this kid starts crying I'm gonna feel so fuckin' evil…_

To Roger's relief, a slow and huge grin began to form on Angel's face…he began to laugh quietly along with them.

Roger noted how nice and…_sincere_ that smile looked. For once, Angel appeared happy and untroubled.

_He really should smile more often…_

Unlike everybody else in that therapy session, Nurse Ratched was not amused.

"Angel?" She continued coldly.

He turned his attention back to her, the smile vanishing instantly.

"Y-y-yes, Ma'am?" He swallowed nervously.

"Why did you want to marry her?"

"Well, I was in l-l-l-l-love with her." Angel replied, a hint of a smile coming back to his eyes.

"Your _mother_ told me that you never told her about it. Why is that, Angel?"

Angel blinked.

_Because I had to escape her somehow! _His mind screamed at him.

He squirmed uncomfortably under her unwavering gaze, at a loss of what to say.

Nurse Ratched pressed on.

"Angel…was that the first time you tried to commit suicide?"

Roger's interest was peaked

_The __first__ time??_

He let his eyes slowly travel down Angel's thin body. Sure enough, he saw the tell tale scars all along both of his lower arms.

Roger felt pangs of pity for this shivering boy.

It was clear that Nurse Ratched's question had caught Angel off guard. The young Latino stared at her for a while, searching for the right words to say.

A false start.

Another one.

Angel's eyes filled with tears. Finally, he lowered his gaze to the floor. He hung his head and seemed to slump inside himself. He just wanted her to leave him alone. He wanted to disappear.

"Oh my _god_…." Benny sighed, exasperated. This pierced through the heavy silence in the room like a cool breeze during a drought.

Everybody, including Angel and Nurse Ratched, turned their attention to him.

"Yes, Benny?" She asked him.

"Miss Ratched…if Angel doesn't feel like talking…um…_why_ are you pressing him? I mean, can't we just go on to something new?"

Angel smiled at him gratefully.

Nurse Ratched remained stone faced.

"The point of therapy is that we _talk_ about our problems, Benny. We get them off our chest."

"Oh." Benny nodded, slumping down into his chair.

Once again, the room fell into silence.

"I'd like to get a few things off _my_ chest, Miss Ratched!" Roger piped up suddenly, waving his hand in the air.

Knowing what was coming, Joanne rolled her eyes. A small smile came to her face.

"Go ahead, Mr Davis." Nurse Ratched nodded at him.

"Okay, well…today there is going to be this _ballgame_ downtown. I was thinkin' that maybe we could all take a little field trip down there. Hot dogs, soda...can you picture it??" Roger sat back in his chair, a smug grin on his face.

Everyone looked to one another, trading excited glances.

"What you're asking, Mr Davis, is that we change a carefully worked out schedule." She shook her head.

"Oh, come _on_! A little change never _killed_ anyone!" Roger objected.

"_Yeah_!" Maureen nodded quickly.

"You know, I've never been to a ballgame…and I think I'd like to see one. Fresh air would be good therapy too, wouldn't it Miss Ratched?" Benny questioned her.

"Some of the people on the ward have taken a very long time to get used to the schedule. If we change it now, they will be very disturbed." Nurse Ratched continued, determined not to budge on this.

"_Fuck_ the schedule! They can go back to their regular schedule after the game!" Roger blurted out, becoming frustrated.

"Well, this is no way to go about it. How about we have a vote and let the majority rule?" She offered, knowing full well that she had all of them under her thumb. Or so she thought...

"Sounds good to me!" Roger grinned wolfishly.

"All those in favor of changing the schedule, please raise your hands." Nurse Ratched surveyed the group.

Of course, Roger and Maureen shot their hands up into the air immediately. It was expected.

"Come on, you guys! Be good Americans! Which one of you nuts has any _guts_??" Roger challenged his fellow patients.

"Get some exercise and put your hands up! It can do you some good!" Maureen joined in excitedly. "Don't leave us hanging!"

With a sidelong glance at Roger, Benny hesitantly raised his hand.

Then, the most amazing thing happened. Everybody else began to follow suit. One by one, grinning at each other. Although, Roger had the feeling Mark was raising his hand just because everyone else was.

But who the fuck cares?! They _won_, goddammit! They _won_!

Victory has never tasted so sweet.

"_Alriiiight_!!" Roger cheered. "That's _it_!"

"I only count six votes, Mr Davis." Nurse Ratched replied calmly.

"Ha! _Only_ six votes?! That is _everyone_ sitting here! It's a _landslide_!" Roger cackled gleefully. Everybody laughed, exhilarated.

"There are 12 patients on this floor, Mr Davis. You must have the majority vote to overturn the existing rules." She explained in a soft, controlled voice. The slightest smile was coming to her face.

A heavy silence filled the room. Roger felt his grin disappear.

_But…but…!_

"You may lower your arms now." Her voice broke into his thoughts.

Dumbstruck, everybody slowly did as they were told, letting their arms hang limply at their sides.

With a creak of his chair, Roger turned to look at the whole new world beyond the little therapy session.

They were the _hardcore_ crazies.

_Oh no!_

Roger bit his lip, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. He whirled back around to meet her gaze.

"Are you telling me that you'll actually consider votes from _these_ poor souls?? I'll bet ya they don't even know what the hell we're _talking_ about…!"

"Well, I'd have to disagree with you, Roger." Nurse Ratched's eyes gleamed with power.

Roger sat there for a split second, staring at her. Then he sprang up from his chair, rushing toward the _real_ crazies.

_One vote! All I need is one fuckin' vote…!_

"Hey, buddy!" Roger ran up to the dancing old dude, grasping him by the bony shoulders. This stopped him in mid dance.

"What do you say?? You wanna watch baseball?? Huh? _Take me out to the ballgaaaame…_"

The guy looked at him blankly for a few seconds. Then he danced out of his grasp.

_Fuck!_

Roger looked around desperately, his eyes landing on 'Sleepy'…sitting by the window.

"Hey, you!!" Roger bounded over to him, practically begging. "Can you raise your hand for me…don't ask why. Just do it…_please_!!"

"…I'm tired…!" The man croaked. Of course.

_Double fuck!!_

"Don't any of you maniacs know what I'm talking about?!" Roger cried out in frustration. Suddenly, his eyes landed upon a man leaning against a wall, staring ahead with no sign of mental activity whatsoever. As Roger approached him, he realized that this was the same man who had pissed on the floor his first day here.

_Maybe I could talk to him. Maybe I could…_

"Ah…fuck it…." Roger dismissed the idea with a wave of his hand. He spun around in place, looking for more people.

Meanwhile, Nurse Ratched glanced at her watch impatiently. She stood up, clutching her record book to her chest.

"This meeting is closed." She announced quietly. Without so much as a single glance at Roger, she turned swiftly and began walking to the front desk.

"You can bring up the subject tomorrow, Mr Davis."

"Just wait a fucking minute, will you? Just one goddamned minute!" Roger shot back, desperation in his tone.

Finally, a tall man standing off to the side caught his attention. He was clutching a mop tightly….

_Collins!_

In less than 3 seconds, Roger was right there in front of him. He placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze to get his attention.

"Collins….you're our last hope. Just raise your hand into the air…remember what I showed you on the courtyard?? That's all I want from you….just put your hand up! Show her that you can do it!" Roger demonstrated this gesture so that he could see.

Collins gripped the mop tighter, his familiar blank stare turning into an expression of confusion.

After a few moments, Roger heaved a huge sigh of defeat. He turned and pushed past Collins. He continued his search, ranting as he did so.

"There's gotta be at least _one_ person here that isn't a total nut!"

"Um…Roger?? Uh…" Benny was pointing, indicating that Roger should look behind him.

Roger stopped in his tracks and turned….

Collins had his hand raised in the air!!

"_AAAAHHH! Oh my God!!"_ Roger screamed, bouncing up and down from excitement. He tore across the room, up to the front desk. He pointed wildly.

"Miss Ratched…_look_!! Collins has his hand raised!! See?? _See_?!! Now, will you please turn the television set on so we can watch the ballgame from here? _Please_??"

"I'm sorry, Roger. The meeting was closed _before_ Collins voted." She informed him from behind the safety glass.

Roger narrowed his eyes. He began to breathe heavily.

"Oh, come _on_! You're _not_ going to say _that_ bullshit now! _Not now! You are going to turn on that fucking television set so we can watch the ballgame!!"_

With that, Roger turned and stalked off. He plopped down heavily onto a bench across the room, looking expectantly at the small TV set on the table in front of him. The glass remained black and lifeless.

In fact, all he could see was his own angry reflection staring back at him.

And to make matters worse, Miss Ratched turned on that damn violin music. Roger could feel his left eye begin to twitch. He could hear his own blood roaring in his ears.

"_Will you look at that?!?!" _Roger bellowed suddenly, leaning forward in his chair. Oblivious to the stares of his fellow patients, he let himself get wrapped up in the 'baseball game' he was watching.

"Oh, God! This is just _too_ good! Somebody get me a fuckin' hot dog before I _die_-"

"Roger? W-w-what are you doing??"

He turned to the sound of the soft voice that interrupted him. Angel and the usual gang were standing just behind him, bewildered expressions on their faces.

"Don't ya _see_, Angel??" Roger nodded his head, indicating to the TV in front of him. "This is one of the best seasons we've _had_! Oh, no! A fuckin' _strike_!!"

Angel giggled, his eyes going back and forth from Roger to the blank TV set.

"Strike two…_dammit_!!" Roger pounded the bench he was sitting on with his fists. "Hit the fuckin' ball, man! Jesus Christ…it ain't that hard to do!!"

Nurse Ratched peered out into the room to see what all the commotion was about. Meanwhile, everyone was gazing at the TV intently.

"_Yeeaaahh! A fuckin' home run!!! A HOME RUN!!!" _Roger cried, leaping up from the bench in hysterics. He pulled Mark against him in a bone crushing bearhug. The group let out a collective roar as they hopped up and down in celebration.

Though yelling at crazy people was mostly forbidden in the ward, she decided to take action.

"_Stop this immediately!"_ Nurse Ratched barked out over the intercom.

Her command, however, was lost in the noise as the group continued to shout and cheer.

_A/N: Next chapter should be up sooner…('cause it's short!)_

_Please review! That would be so kind of you... ;)_


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Later that night…_

_I'm sorry this took so long. I just thought I'd give Angel a break from stuttering. ;)_

Arms folded across his chest, Roger sat in a rickety old chair. His legs were propped up against this…sink thing.

Roger truly didn't know what to call it…so he called it a 'sink thing'. It was a three foot tall structure made of marble. On its surface, there was a shallow, wide indentation with a drain in the middle. Dozens of shiny, silver knobs surrounded the indentation. There was a long, thin tap-like contraption that spun 360 degrees.

He was in what they called 'The Tub Room'. It was a small, boring little place with white tiled walls. It used to be a public shower room but was now abandoned. About five separate shower stalls lined the back wall, collecting dust. A large, rusty old tub was sitting against another wall.

Roger sighed heavily and stared up at a tiny little window that sat high up on the far wall. As he thought over the day's events, a shark like grin formed on his face.

As much as he loved pissing off Nurse Ratched, he really began to feel that he had made a mistake. He felt hopeful, though. He could get out of here anytime he wanted to, right? He was an adult, after all. But what was next…back to jail? Roger didn't want that.

He enjoyed the peace and quiet that was in this room. He could hear his fellow patients (who were just outside in the main room that held the therapy sessions). The mindless babble that some of the more far gone patients produced really was maddening. He needed to get away for a while. He needed to zone out, to get his bearings and to think. Roger was restless. He needed an art therapy class or something…

_I'm not crazy. I'm not crazy…_

It really _was_ enough to drive a person crazy, though. Therapy sessions, eating slop for breakfast, lunch and dinner (an older, severely insane patient had attempted to spoon feed him.)

And now, there was a designated bed time. A curfew.

Roger knew he would not be able to sleep. Not that it mattered, anyway. He thought about how funny it would be to challenge his fellow nutcases into a sleep deprivation contest. Surely it would _really_ drive them over the edge.

He laughed loudly, his manic cackle echoing off the walls.

_I crack myself up…_

His amusement was short lived, however. The white walls reminded him of his fate. They hurt his eyes. He rubbed them wearily.

_When I get out of here, there will be no white…_

He seriously thought about building a bomb and blowing this place sky high…

"Where is Roger?"

Maureen's voice…

Torn from his thoughts, Roger turned in his chair to see 'The Wild Bunch' come filing into the tub room one by one. Maureen, Mark, Benny, Joanne and Angel. Collins stood just outside the doorway, looking blankly into the room, clutching that damn mop.

The whole fucking family was here. It was 'Cum Bi Ya' time!

_Awww! They missed me! How sweet…_

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Maureen asked him. She wasn't angry though…she just liked to swear.

"I'm…" For once, Roger couldn't think of something witty to say. He was too tired. Oh sure…he could go for the 'you-just-inturrupted-a-_very_-private-moment-between-my-hand-and-I' joke. But that was too easy…

_Ah…fuck it…_

"I'm hiding from that fuckin' nurse…" Roger informed her, a wary smirk on his lips. "Sometimes, I just wanna kill her. Have you decided to join me?"

Mark giggled, a stupid grin on his face. Roger couldn't tell if he was laughing at him or if he was laughing at one of his imaginary friends.

"Why?" Benny asked Roger, his eyebrows knitted together in concern.

"Because she's somewhat of a cunt, ain't she? She hates me because I'm not a fucking vegetable. I don't shit on the floor and rely on her to clean it up. I don't obey her and her fuckin' rules. You know what I'm sayin'? She likes a rigged game."

"Are you _kidding_ me?" Joanne folded her arms across her chest. "She is a good nurse and she's trying to _help_ you. Maybe she doesn't like you because you're so _obnoxious_?? You're being ridiculous."

"Roger is _right_!" Maureen retorted. "She is a fucking _control freak_!"

Joanne rolled her eyes at Maureen. "Do you _ever_ shut up??"

Sensing another cat fight about to take place, Roger leaned forward to reach for the sink thing. He spun the tap around to face them and turned the cold water on full blast…

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!" Maureen screeched, stumbling back.

"_God dammit_! You fucking _nutcase_!" Joanne cried angrily, running out of reach. It was too late, seeing as she was already soaked.

_This is fun!!_

Roger decided to spray _everyone_ now.

Benny ran after Joanne. Mark opened his mouth to laugh, getting a mouthful of water in the process.

Looking more fearful than surprised, Angel leapt out of the way and ran for it, huddling in a corner.

"We're _all_ nutcases, my dear! Besides, I was just cooling you ladies off." Cackling madly, Roger finally shut the water off.

Everyone remained still, staring at him.

"Oh, stop it. You're making me blush!" Roger cracked. "Come on…it was just a joke. Come back here, you guys…I'm getting _lonely_!"

Slowly, they regrouped around Roger. Benny hid behind Joanne just in case. After a few seconds of silence, Roger finally spoke up.

"I'm getting out of here and going to the nearest bar. Who's with me?"

"_I'm_ with you, Roger." Offering him a supporting smile, Benny emerged from behind Joanne.

Everybody else just looked confused.

"_How_ are you supposed to do that?!" Joanne snorted, her hands on her hips.

"R-R-Roger, you c-c-c-can't g-get out of here…." Angel informed him softly.

"Anybody want to bet?" Ignoring Angel, Roger grinned broadly.

"What are you gonna do?!" Maureen's eyes sparkled with excitement.

_I'm gonna use Mark's head to punch a hole in the wall…_

Roger decided to go with Plan B.

"I'm gonna take this sink-thing and throw it through a window. _That's_ what I'm gonna do."

"You're going to _lift_ that thing?! I think it weighs a ton. And it's bolted to the floor…" Joanne shook her head incredulously.

"_So_??" Roger stuck his chin out, defiance in his eyes. "Which one of you chicken shits wants to join me?"

No one said anything.

"Y-y-y-you c-c-can't l-l-l-lift t-that thing, Roger. N-n-no one can e-e-_ever_ lift that thing…" Angel looked at him.

"Move aside, boy. You're using up my oxygen." Roger smirked.

Angel blinked, then slowly backed away. The others watched expectantly, wide eyed and curious.

"Alright…" Roger cracked his knuckles, fixing his gaze on the sink-thing. He carefully stood up and pushed his chair back. Bending at the knees, he gripped the structure in an almost bear hug and pulled.

Roger squeezed his eyes shut and grit his teeth so hard that he thought they would break. The thing wasn't budging…not even an inch. His muscles were already sore.

_Come on! Come on…_

"You give up, yet? You're gonna _kill_ yourself…" Maureen snickered at him.

"_Fuck_, no! I'm just getting warmed up…" Roger shot her a look before bearing down once more… trying, with all his might, to lift the sink.

Hilarious, primal grunts came from him and he turned red in the face. He pulled and tugged. His heart pounded as well as his head…but it was no use.

_Son of a bitch!_

Slowly, Roger straightened up and released the sink. Not even making eye contact with anyone, he walked across the room, pausing at the doorway. He turned around to face his audience.

"Hell, at least I _tried_. At least _I_ fuckin' tried."

He stood there for a few seconds, staring at his silent friends. Breathing hard, he wiped a trickle of sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

Wordlessly, Roger turned back around and brushed past Collins, going out into the main room.

Everyone stared after him, not knowing what to say.

_A/N: I'm so sorry for slacking off. I know you guys must be pissed. So many story ideas are flowing through my head right now…it's kind of overwhelming. I WILL finish this, though. I love writing it and I'm not giving up on it._

_On the bright side, at least I'm actually taking my time on this one. I think it's WAY better written than "Legion"._

_As of November 20, 2007…I've been writing RENT fanfics on this site for one year. It's been a fun, wonderful 525,600 minutes, you guys! Writing RENT fics, no matter how goofy the story is, has really helped me keep my sanity. Thank you SO MUCH! I don't know what I'd do without you…_

_Can I ask a favor of you? I'm frustrated…_

_Okay, I had a HELL of a time trying to edit this chapter. I have no idea why, but I just couldn't concentrate at all. I know that checking a story/chapter over for errors is necessary…I always make stupid mistakes and typos that take away from what I'm trying to say. But lately…I don't know what is wrong with me…but I'm having trouble._

_I don't really like the idea, but I'm asking for a beta reader. A part time beta reader, anyway. The entire time that I've been here, I've checked my own stuff VERY carefully for errors…I'm used to doing it myself. But now I think I may need some help._

_In no way will the beta reader have to check all of my stories/chapters for mistakes…only a few. I'd still like to do the majority of the work…but like I said…I need help._

_Please PM me if you are interested. I'd be so grateful. And it will help me move this fic along much faster, I think. _

_Thank you! _


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